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Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2004

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2004 by krin.jpg

Date Aired

November 14th, 2012

Running Time

28:25

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Introduction [ ]

Todd is sitting there at the piano, feeling bored

Todd: Hey, you know what I haven't done in a while? One of those Top Ten lists. Yes, Peak Ten [Todd walks off to get and get something] worst songs of random year. Yeah, that'll be fun, right? [Todd comes back with his pile of Billboard'southward year-stop lists] That's ever fun. Looking at the horribly dated fashion trends of past decades and the ridiculous other things generations listened to in the past. Okay, fourth dimension travelers, put on your poodle skirts and your leisure suits, [He picks out a list and drops the others] 'cause we're taking a nostalgia ride in the wayback auto all the way to the furthermost year of... [Todd looks at Billboard's year-stop list issued December 25, 2004] ...huh. Okay.

Todd throws the paper away and plays Los Lonely Boys "Heaven" [ane] on pianoforte

THE Meridian X WORST Striking SONGS OF 2004
A year-cease review.

Todd: [putting his right index finger in the air] Peace up, A-Town down?

Video for Usher ft. Lil Jon and Ludacris - "Aye!" [2]

Todd (VO): Okay, I realize this is less than a decade agone, but 2004 is fading from retentivity more rapidly than yous probably realize. [Montage of clips of JibJab - "This Land," the Boston Ruddy Sox winning the World Series, opening credits of Desperate Housewives, William Hung's American Idol audience, Katamari Damacy, and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy] Howard Dean was a viable presidential candidate, people cared nigh Janet Jackson's breasts, lolcats didn't exist however, and while I personally spent well-nigh of 2004 listening to Modest Mouse and the Killers, that'south non really reflected in Billboard's list of the yr's hottest songs.

Todd: No, for the public at big, 2004 was the year of crunk.

Montage clips of J-Kwon - "Tipsy" (also playing in background) [3] ; Ludacris ft. Shawnna - "Stand up Up" [4] ; Maroon five - "This Love" [5] ; Outkast - "Roses" [6] ; Twista, Kanye West and Jamie Foxx - "Slow Jamz" [7] ; Snoop Dogg and Pharrell - "Drop It Like It'southward Hot"' [8] ; Linkin Park - "Numb" [9] ; Alicia Keys - "Yous Don't Know My Name" [10] ; Jay-Z - "Change Clothes" [11] ; Evanescence - "My Immortal" [12] ; Britney Spears - "Toxic" [13] ; Ashlee Simpson - "Pieces of Me" [14] ; Jet - "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" [15] ; Avril Lavigne - "Don't Tell Me" [16] ; Nelly and Tim McGraw - "Over and Over" [17] ; and R. Kelly - "Pace in the Proper noun of Love" [18]
J-Kwon: Daughter, everybody in the club

Todd (VO): There is some other stuff in there, but more than than one-half this list is down 'n dirty, hip-hop party jams. Nosotros were shakin' information technology like a saltshaker and/or Polaroid motion picture, depending on the song. It wasn't like today, where the charts are largely the domain of the Katy Perrys and Rihannas. No, 2004 belonged to the Muddied Due south. And it all disappeared surprisingly quickly. I wasn't a chart watcher in '04 like I am at present, simply I have absolutely no noesis of a distressing number of these songs, and I'm guessing many of them mean nothing to most of you too, unless names similar Lil Flip, Nina Sky, or Ryan Cabrera ring whatsoever bells for ya.

Todd: All the same, 2004 holds a special identify for me. That was the year that some atrocious [clip of "Welcome to My Life" past...] Simple Plan song inspired me to start bitching about music on my LiveJournal, which I did for many years before I somewhen converted it to video. Yeah, this is basically the year that Todd In The Shadows was born. The birth of a fable. All right, plenty wasting time, [sings] let'south get it started in hither. We're counting downwardly...

Video for Ruben Studdard - "Sorry 2004" [19] , which serves as the interlude through the countdown
Ruben: Daughter, this is my sorry for 2004

Todd (VO): The Meridian Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2004!

Ruben: I'm 'a take this one hazard and make it real clear.
I'm sorry

#ten [ ]

Todd (VO): #10.

Clip from Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica
Jessica Simpson: Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know information technology's tuna, but information technology... information technology says Craven...by the Sea.

Todd: There.

Todd (VO): After thirteen years and a billion paparazzi photos, there you take Jessica Simpson'south only major contribution to pop culture.

Todd: Beingness outsmarted by a canned food label.

Todd (VO): In 2003, Jessica Simpson launched her career as a reality star, one which she [Jessica on encompass of OK!] apparently continues to this day. But believe it or not, she actually started her career equally a vocalizer, and she actually had some success in it.

Todd: Not success anyone remembers, but, you lot know, success.

#ten. Jessica Simpson - "With You" [20]

Todd (VO): Yes, the newly devirginized Jessica Simpson went forth that year to put out a new sexy epitome. Merely by 2004, as R&B took over, the pop scene had utterly no clue what to do with its regular pop princesses.

Jessica: I can allow my hair downwardly

I can only presume this one charted because of Jessica'southward publicity buzz from her TV show, but information technology is easily the worst Jessica Simpson vocal I've always heard.

Todd: And I've listened to lots and lots of Jessica Simpson. [Todd tin only hang his caput in shame]

Jessica: You speak and it's like a song
And just similar that all my walls come down
It's like a private joke

Todd (VO): And oddly enough, Jessica never actually seemed peculiarly comfortable as a popular vocalist; certainly not on this, she doesn't. It'southward...well, listen to this song—it's herky-jerky, it's got this weird rhyme scheme, it sounds more like an inept brew-up than anything else.

Todd: And Jessica Simpson is a belter. She knows how to do this.

Clip of Jessica Simpson - "I Wanna Dear You Forever"
Jessica: [belting it out] ...Heaven never waits, no

Todd: Not so proficient at this.

Prune of "With Y'all" with Jessica breathily vocalizing

Todd (VO): More than that, I'yard a fiddling annoyed that this completely synthetic piece of tripe is Jessica presenting herself equally "the real her." And yous're cut through the layers of showbiz to see who she actually is.

Jessica: The real me is a southern girl with her Levi'due south on and an open centre

Todd (VO): Right. No. This is so calculated, it was written on a [moving picture of...] TI-83. Chances are that even her husband never met the real Jessica. I certainly don't buy that this malformed piece of fluff is annihilation real.

Jessica: I can say anything crazy

Oh, look at how down home and real she is, she's non a living, breathing publicity machine at all. She's but Jessica from the cake.

Todd: Whatever.

Jessica: Now that I'm with you lot

Interlude

#nine [ ]

Todd (VO): #ix.

Todd: Now, similar I said, I was but listening to rock music in '04, then I was a little shocked at how little in that location was of it on this list. Why is the rock so unrepresented? Surely, we had someone to be our standard-bearer of rock 'n ringlet. [Pic of Nickelback, accompanied by a frightening chord] Oh. Well, God, no wonder this genre was dying.

#9. Nickelback - "Anytime" [21]

Chad Kroeger: How the hell'd we wind up like this
Why weren't nosotros able

Todd: No, no, that's a good question, Chad. How did we?

Todd (VO): How did nosotros terminate upwardly like this, every single year of the Bush administration, like clockwork, with some other completely awful Nickelback unmarried stinking upward the radio? Nickelback were ever a terrible band from the very beginning, but information technology was correct effectually this year that they began building their reputation...

Todd: ...non just equally a bad band, but equally the worst band of all time.

Nickelback: Someday, somehow
Chad: I'm gonna make it all right, simply not right at present

Todd (VO): Somewhere, there'south somebody who volition tell yous that the critics were too harsh on them, but that person is not me. Now, their big hitting in 2004 was called "Someday," and information technology was mainly only notable for being a shit-blisteringly breathy recycling of their offset big striking. Then much then that i amazing remix just played them side-by-side for comparing.

Clips of "Someday" and "How You Remind Me" playing side-by-side and simultaneously
Chad: How the hell'd we current of air up like this (Never made it as a wise homo)
Why weren't we able (I couldn't cut it every bit a poor man stealing)
To run into the signs that we... (Tired of living like a bullheaded man)

Todd: Why they would want to recycle a song that was atrocious to brainstorm with is beyond me. People employ the term "barrel rock" to refer to a lot of things...

Todd (VO): ...simply I think it all-time applies to Chad Kroeger, considering he literally sounds similar a barrel.

Chad: Someday, SOMEHOW...

That, more than annihilation, is the key component in Nickelback's stone-bottom reputation—the fact that Kroeger the Ogre sounds similar he's singing directly out of his colon.

Chad: ...since nosotros're here Anyway

Todd (VO): Every single song, he just wails like that. How do y'all think he answers the phone? [image of Chad mid-wail, every bit Todd imitates] HELLOOOOO!!!

Also, this is a pocket-sized nitpick, but the lyrics suck also.

Nickelback: Someday, somehow
Chad: I'm gonna make it all right, but not right now

Todd: He's gonna get in right, but not right now. I mean, the game's on. Can't it wait? Jeez.

Chad: ...knows THAT

Todd (VO): And the sad function is that Nickelback would keep to get worse.

Clips of "Savin' Me"...
Nickelback: Say it if it'south worth saving me

Todd: Much worse...

...and "Photo"
Chad: Look at this photo

Todd: ...than "Someday." I mean...

Todd (VO): ...this was before they were dropping six singles from an album at a time. This wound upward low on the list merely because Nickelback can do and so much worse. As one of the few people on Earth who can distinguish between different Nickelback songs, I can tell you that, merely off the top of my head, I tin can think of seven songs they had worse than this.

Chad: How the hell'd we wind upwards similar this

Any other ring, this would be the worst thing they ever did.

Todd: Only another day for Nickelback.

Nickelback: I know yous're wondering when

Interlude

#eight [ ]

Todd (VO): #eight.

Todd: This is not about Beyoncé.

#viii. Beyoncé ft. Sean Paul - "Infant Male child" [22]

Beyoncé: Baby boy you stay on my heed
Fulfill my fantasies
Sean Paul: C'monday girl, tell me how you feelin'

Todd (VO): I know I already said I'1000 not a Beyoncé fan—never was, probably never will exist. That said, she did take at least a couple songs I liked. This patently isn't one of them, but this isn't about her.

Sean Paul: Ya ready gimme da ting dat ya ready get ya live

Reggae star Sean Paul is featured more on this song than Miss B is, but it's not well-nigh him either, although it was pretty easy to get ill of Sean Paul that twelvemonth.

Todd: No, this is most a chubby white boy named Scott Storch.

Clip of Scott Storch interview and his episode of MTV Cribs

Todd (VO): Scott Storch was a keyboard player for the Roots, and so he was an underling of producer Timbaland, and and then he struck out making beats on his own. And he was very successful for a few years.

Todd: I bring him upwardly because he absolutely sucked.

Montage clips of Terror Squad - "Lean Back" [23] ; 50 Cent ft. Olivia - "Processed Shop"; Beyoncé - "Naughty Daughter" [24] ; and back to "Baby Boy"

Todd (VO): I blame every shitty trip the light fantastic song I heard between '03 and '06 on him. I couldn't stand up a single song he touched, mostly because all his shit sounded exactly the same—some vaguely world music-sounded Indian riff or something, add hip hop shell, done. Anyone could've done information technology, only Scott went the extra mile past making the well-nigh shrink-wrapped, sterile beats so utterly devoid of life or fun that...ugh! When nosotros had guys like the Neptunes and Timbaland making actual fun music...

Todd: ...I have no idea why we tolerated this tubby, talentless hack making our hits.

Todd (VO): I would await such a forcefulness of personality every bit Beyoncé to liven things up, merely, see...here's the thing. Beyoncé'southward good at explaining why she'south crawly or destroying some inferior specimen of man.

Todd: If simply she'd brought that kind of energy to this.

Todd (VO): On love songs, more than than a few times, she just seems to clock out, which is why she seems like a non-presence on this vocal.

Beyoncé: Feels similar true paradise to me

Scott Storch somewhen flamed out, MC Hammer fashion, in a cloud of cocaine, lawsuits, and [picture show of Storch in orangish bathrobe] ridiculous outfits. I cull to believe it was karma. Lord knows whatever happened to Beyoncé.

Todd: Anyone always hear from her again? Pfft. Probably not, I bet.

Beyoncé: I retrieve almost you all the time
I see you lot in my dreams

Interlude

#7 [ ]

Todd (VO): #seven.

Todd sighs and plays a single E on his piano sixteen times, which are the opening notes for...

#7. Hoobastank - "The Reason" [25]

Doug Robb: I'm non a perfect person...

Todd (VO): Oh, would that this have been one of the songs from this year I don't remember. Of course, I don't know how that would happen because, in that twelvemonth and every yr since, "The Reason" by Hoobastank has been i of the most wretchedly overplayed songs that'south ever existed.

Doug: That I just desire you to know...

Hoobastank were honestly non a terrible band. They were pretty clearly Incubus wannabes, yes, but I didn't have anything against them at all. And yet, I developed an allergic reaction to "The Reason" nigh immediately. [Clip of Cinderella - "Don't Know What Y'all Got (Till It's Gone)"] Plenty of difficult rock bands released terrible ballads, but at least dorsum in the '80s, it was cheesy and over the height. "The Reason," notwithstanding, is a "worst of both worlds" scenario, combining the ugly, sludgy audio of a Nickelback song, with the vapid, hacky lyrics of a Peter Cetera ballad.

Todd: Simply heed as main poet Doug Robb finds just the right words to express the idea that he's not a perfect person.

Doug: I'm not a perfect person...

Todd: And weaves romantic tapestry of imagery to show that he'southward lamentable that he injure you lot.

Doug: I'yard sorry that I hurt you lot...

Todd: And finds a new spin on the tired, insincere cliché, "I never meant to do those things to yous."

Doug: I never meant to do those things to y'all...

Todd: Genius. Yep, this guy's not any better at apologizing than Nickelback. Although, at the very least, he's a amend singer than Chad Kroeger. [beat] Commonly.

Prune of live performance
Doug: [vocalism cracking] I'm non a perfect person...

Todd (VO): It's just not a very convincing song. Oh, I never meant to exercise those things. I'thousand not gonna say which things. You know, those things. Any those things are, maybe he, I don't know, sold her dog and slept with all her friends.

Doug: To change who I used to exist...

You lot can't alter who y'all used to be, dumbass. The song starts with the guy saying he isn't perfect, and so he goes on to prove it. Hoobastank immediately disappeared after their biggest hit. And yet, despite Hoobastank'south lack of further success, "The Reason" persists in all its dull, gray awfulness. For the dear of God, why won't it just go abroad?

Todd: This song Hooba-sucks.

Doug: And the reason is yous...

Interlude

#half dozen [ ]

Todd (VO): #half dozen.

Clip of Nelly - "Hot in Herre"
Nelly: It's getting hot in here
So take off all your apparel

Todd: Hot in...herre? [unmarried cover] Herre...herre. Whateverre.

Todd (VO): Nelly wasn't exactly a great rapper, but he was an original. The first rapper to intermission out of the Midwest, one with a unique sing-vocal flow and a foreign way of bending words.

Todd: Naturally, after Nelly's second anthology went multi-platinum in '02, ripoffs started showing upwards almost immediately.

Clip of Chingy - "Correct Thurr"
Chingy: I like the mode yous practice that right thurr (right thurr)
Switch your hips when you're walkin', let down your hurr

Todd (VO): This guy's name was Chingy, or maybe [single comprehend] Chin-jee, I'k non sure. Like Nelly, he came from St. Louis; similar Nelly, he didn't seem overburdened with intelligence; united nationslike Nelly, I don't recollect anyone ever liked him. Ane of the amazing things about the Internet is that you can find someone who can [shot of Slate article: "Was Limp Bizkit Really That Bad?"] make a decent defense of just about anybody in the world. But Chingy was one of the few people I call back who the unabridged consensus said was but crap.

Todd: And just like Hoobastank above, he was at his worst when he was trying to exist romantic.

#half-dozen. Chingy ft. J-Weav - "I Call Away" [26]

Chingy and J-Weav: Gimme a telephone call if you wanna come curl with me
Chingy: If you lot was my baby

Todd (VO): Chingy was 1 of those guys whose entire idea of romance came from Internet porn videos.

Chingy: She in the bed with a see-through thong

He didn't exactly liven things upward with peachy lyrics or astonishing flow. In fact, his voice is by far the worst thing about him. He seems shocked by everything he says.

Chingy: The adjacent day I'grand with the fellas at the cage playing brawl??
Hither she comes wit her friends?!?!
They posted up on the wall??!!???

Todd (VO): Seriously, is Urkel dubbing this guy? Does he take a instance of the hiccups or what?

Chingy: Information technology was weird how nosotros met, huh
She was wit her mom at Bank America
I'm wit my son cashin' the check

Hey, don't pitter-patter on girls at the banking concern or the grocery store or whatever. Jeez.

Chingy: We started off coincidental; walks through the park
Candle light dinners by dark, I'm thinkin' smart

Todd: Now let me sum up this entire vocal for you.

Clip from The Boondocks
Ed Wuncler 3: I'm a send that bowwow a smiley face up. Bitches love smiley faces.
Prune of "I Call Abroad"
Chingy: If yous was my baby

Todd: You know what else is one call abroad? [epitome of Chingy plastered with "...WHO?"] Irrelevance.

Chingy: If you was my lady

Interlude

#v [ ]

Todd (VO): #v.

#5. Lloyd ft. Ashanti - "Southside" [27]

Lloyd: Tell ya daddy stop his hatin'
Cuz I exist wearing braids and rockin' jerseys daily
Only that don't hateful I'k thuggin' though

Todd: Okay, now who the hell is this puke?

Lloyd: Baby I know a place that we can go and be lone

Todd (VO): 'kay, this is...Lloyd. Never heard of him.

Lloyd: Don't worry baby
Meet me at the southside

Well, that's an excellent Marilyn Monroe impression he's doing. This guy's a singer, really?

Todd: 'Crusade he's singing like he has a bad case of hay fever and a pipe wrench tightened on his nuts.

Ashanti: As long as you brand sure that you lot safely go me dwelling

Todd (VO): Granted, non everything about "Southside" by Lloyd is terrible. It's got a squeamish, soft, romantic guitar, and the cute voice of Ashanti, who I was never fifty-fifty really a fan of, just merely admittedly blows Lloyd out of the water here.

Todd: And yet, the positive parts of this song simply highlight how completely terrible Lloyd is.

Ashanti: But I know that if he knew you
He would understand ya
Know that you're my man and...

Todd (VO): This is a song well-nigh the two of them arranging a romantic rendezvous away from the eyes of her dad, who disapproves of his jerseys and braids and the fact that he looks like [movie of Lloyd] a cast fellow member of Breakin' ii: Electrical Boogaloo. Information technology's funny that they mention this overprotective dad because this vocal kinda forces you into that role—trying to protect your beautiful girl from running off with a guy who's nowhere about good plenty for her. Again, I wasn't even a fan of her, but I hear this and I feel like...

Todd: ...[southern emphasis] "Son, that little girl at that place is my princess, and if yous even got even half a heed to touch a hair on her head, I want you to know I got a shotgun and I know how to apply information technology. You keep that in listen, son."

Todd (VO): Only I mean, he was 18 at the time. No wonder he sounds like that, he could barely drive.

Todd: I'one thousand sure now that he's in his late-20s, he's got some bass in his vox.

Clip of "Dedication to My Ex (Miss That)" ft. Lil Wayne and Andre 3000
Lloyd: Baby, something's on my mind, I gotta say it
Yes, your pussy done inverse

Todd: Oh, I approximate not. What else has he done?

Clip of Young Money - "BedRock"
Lloyd: Call me Mr. Flint
I can make your boulder

Todd (VO): Oh, expect, it's that guy! The "Bedrock" douche! He sung the hook on ane of the worst songs I've e'er reviewed. And although everyone involved deserves some of the blame...

Todd: ...particularly Gudda Gudda...

Todd (VO): ...most of all, I hated this singer. It's kind of comforting to know that he always sucked.

Lloyd: ATL Georgia, what do we do for ya
Bull doggin' similar we Georgetown Hoyas

[seductively] Oh, baby. Georgetown Hoyas. Big Eastward Conference.

Todd: I'm gonna fill out your March Madness bracket. [Gags with finger]

Ashanti: Southside, southside, southside...

Interlude

#4 [ ]

Todd (VO): #iv.

#four. Kelis - "Milkshake" [28]

Kelis: My milkshake brings all the boys to the chiliad
And they're similar, information technology's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours
I can teach you, but I take to charge

Todd: [dawning on him] Oh, my God. I...I hate this vocal.

Todd (VO): I did not realize that before. Why didn't... this song is atrocious. How did...how did I non find? I mean, I must've heard it a billion times, and I guess I only kinda thought, you know, it's funny, they sing it in Dodgeball, it'southward...it's...

Todd: It's really bad.

Kelis: La la-la la la
Warm it up

Todd (VO): Kelis...um...she basically merely ended upward the world'southward warmup for Fergie, and this was her biggest hit, and it's...

Todd: ...holy crap, I don't fifty-fifty know what to say. It's just...terrible, it'southward simply...just apartment-out, freaking crap! I mean...am I crazy?!

Kelis: My milkshake brings all the boys to the grand

Todd (VO): Okay, and then...um...Kelis is proud of her milkshake...nosotros never ever really found out what her milkshake was. Apparently, its recipe is worth something.

Kelis: I could teach you, simply I'd accept to accuse

I'm guessing she means more than the [picture of McDonald's milkshake] $2.59 it costs at McDonald's. Like...I...I don't even know what I'thou talking near. I'm...I'm just dumbfounded. I really didn't know I hated this song and then much.

Todd: Information technology's...it'south unlistenable, it sounds like garbage, it'southward disjointed, it's awful, information technology's simply noise. It's the...it's the worst thing the Neptunes ever made. Am I the only one who notices?

Kelis: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

Todd (VO): Milkshake? I drink your milkshake? I don't know what to say. Some people who hate it at present, hate it considering they got sick of it. I mean, I wasn't sick of it, it merely sucks. Information technology just obviously, obviously sucks.

Todd: Right?

Kelis sips as Todd even so comes to grips with this realization

Interlude

#3 [ ]

Todd (VO): #3.

Prune of Youngbloodz - "Damn!" [29]
Lil Jon: Don't kickoff no shit, information technology won't be no shit
Don't start no shit, it won't be no shit

Todd (VO): Now like I said, a large chunk of the Hot 100 this twelvemonth was Crunk&B party jams. I'd have put more of them on here if I could tell them autonomously, but more often than not they're just mediocre. On top of that, they're all pretty vapid. It actually does make a person wish someone would inject some substance into this genre.

Todd: Enter salvation from an unlikely source.

Clip of The LOX ft. Lil Kim and DMX - "Money, Power & Respect"
Jadakiss: Yo nutin' merely the hotness.
Whenever nosotros drop this.
Monotonous for ya'll to proceed hatin'

Todd (VO): Yeah, New York rapper Jadakiss—member of The LOX, affiliated with DMX, mostly known equally a gangsta rapper, [video for...] just who set aside his normal MO for his best-charting unmarried. A song where he asked hard questions about society, racism, politics, the music industry, and many other topics.

Todd: It was called "Why."

#iii. Jadakiss ft. Anthony Hamilton - "Why" [30]

Anthony Hamilton: All that I been givin'
Is this thing that I've been living

Todd (VO): Like I said, it was a serious departure from the mindless trends of its time. And so why is "Why" on this listing? Well, despite its beauteous intentions, it had one itty-bitty effect.

Todd: Jadakiss was a moron.

Jadakiss: Why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets
Why is the industry designed to keep the artist in debt

Todd (VO): Expect, he tried. He tried. But it turns out some people should stick to what they know because Jadakiss is well out of his depth. While some of the questions might be worth answering...

Jadakiss: Why they end lettin' brothers get degrees in jail

Todd: ...turns out a lot of these questions are things that only he cares almost.

Jadakiss: Why I can't come through in the pecan Jag

Todd: Or shouldn't care near.

Jadakiss: Why at the bar y'all own't take directly shots instead of poppin' Crist

Todd: [with a drinking glass] What business organisation is information technology of yours, wiggle? Let me potable.

Todd (VO): Or he'southward asking questions that merely reveal his ain ignorance.

Jadakiss: Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get a Oscar
Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it

Todd: You know that [clip of 62nd Academy Awards, with Denzel Washington winning the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Celebrity] Denzel had an Oscar before Training Twenty-four hour period, right?

Jadakiss: Why they ain't requite u.s.a. a cure for AIDS

Todd: Because they simply don't like you, Jadakiss. There are scientists out there specifically withholding the cure for AIDS from you.

Jadakiss: Why my buzz in L.A. own't similar it is in New York

Todd: Because y'all're a New York rapper. Duh. A-Rod doesn't walk around wondering why he's non as popular in Boston, you dumbass.

Jadakiss: Why they come up wit the witness protection
Why they permit the Terminator win the ballot

Todd (VO): Stupid question afterwards stupid freaking question.

Jadakiss: Why you lot gotta do eighty-five percentage of your time
Why you own't stackin' instead of tryin' to be fly
Why they never get it poppin' merely they party to death
Prune of Insane Clown Posse - "Miracles"
Shaggy 2 Dope: Fucking magnets, how practise they piece of work?

Look, you desire thoughtful rap, go to Common or Lupe Fiasco or Mos Def.

Todd: Don't go to Jadakiss, who thinks this is an insightful commentary on current events.

Jadakiss: Why do people push pounds of powder
Why did Bush knock down the towers

Todd: [beat] Oh.

Jadakiss: Why did Bush knock downward the towers

Todd (VO): Oh, y'all're 1 of those, huh? Well, he did it considering the Illuminati needed him to cover up the CIA'due south mind control program or any the hell your crazy donkey believes.

Jadakiss: Why did Kobe have to hit that raw
Why he kiss that whore, why

Todd: Y'all mean the alleged rape victim? That whore? Here's a question for you—why don't y'all go eat a dick?!

Interlude

#2 [ ]

Todd (VO): #2.

Todd: Okay, look, I'k not a prude. I am non opposed to cursing. I don't become offended when someone drops an F-bomb in front end of me, every bit long as it's washed correctly. See, at that place's a way to practice it properly.

Prune of Cee Lo Light-green - "Fuck You"
Cee Lo Greenish: I'm like, fuck yous

Todd: And then there'south doing it wrong.

Clip of...
Enrique Iglesias: Simply this night, I'm fucking you lot.

Todd: And and then there'southward doing information technology wrooong.

#2. Eamon - "Fuck It (I Don't Desire Y'all Back)" [31]

Eamon: Fuck what I said, information technology don't mean shit now
Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't hateful jack
Fuck you lot, you ho, I don't desire you back

Todd (VO): Don't call back this vocal? Information technology was large. Information technology went to #1 in nine countries. No, I don't think it either.

Todd: But let me introduce you to the homo singing it—doofy Staten Island douche named Eamon.

Eamon: Fuck you, you ho, I don't want you back

Todd: It's...[sigh]

Eamon: You lot could enquire anyone
I even said you were my great i

Todd: This is like listening to that "Graduation" song past Vitamin C with a colicky baby screaming curse words over information technology.

Todd (VO): I guess his girl cheated on him, so he dumped her, and he's rejecting her attempts to get back with her. No, no, actually, no. Here's what I'm guessing really happened. He got cheated on, then he got dumped by her, and so this is him writing a song almost how he wished it went down.

Eamon: Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack

It's honestly too pathetic to exist offended by. At that place can't be a unmarried person who ever listened to this and grooved to it unironically. This is the kind of thing VH1 Awesomely Bad Countdowns were made for. Fifty-fifty if yous do similar it ironically...

Todd: ...and from research, that's the simply people I tin find who do like this song. Even if you lot similar it ironically, [clip of "Fuck Yous"] we already have a much better "F Y'all" song written by a much better artist that's funny on purpose, and you can listen to information technology without guilt.

Eamon: You played me, you lot even gave him caput
Now you request for me back
You simply another act

Todd (VO): I might have to do a further episode on this, because I'm looking, and, uh...[album encompass of I Don't Want You Back] this guy'due south anthology included such unfairly ignored potential hits as "Get Off My Dick," "I Love Them Hoes," and "Ass Is Fat."

Eamon: Fuck you lot, you ho, I don't want you back

And no one anywhere wanted you back either, Eamon.

Todd: At least you take this i great vocal every bit your legacy. Pfft.

Interlude

#1 [ ]

Todd (VO): #1.

Todd: It feels bizarre that I should assign the #1 vocal on this list to, by far, its near talented artist. But you know what? It's inevitable. Everyone'due south got a bad one in them, and any artist that doesn't die young will eventually run out of steam at some point. They get sometime, they go complacent. No one tin can keep the fire called-for forever. Information technology happens. Only until the end of my days, I don't retrieve I will ever, e'er see such a shocking drib in quality as this.

Video for...wait for it...
Eminem: Down, downwards down
Downwardly, down down.

Todd: You lot broke my centre, Marshall. You broke my heart.

#1. Eminem - "Just Lose It" [32]

Eminem: At present I'one thousand gonna make you trip the light fantastic toe
It's your chance
Yeah boy milk shake that thang
Oops I mean girl
Girl girl girl

Todd: You remember in Space Jam [clip from same] where aliens secretly stole the talent from NBA stars and suddenly those players completely sucked?

Todd (VO): I tin can only assume something like happened to Eminem in 2004 because I can't come up up with a unmarried better caption for what happened to Slim. The song was chosen "Merely Lose Information technology."

Todd: And Eminem just lost it.

Eminem: Alright, now lose it. [Pee-Wee Herman express mirth]
Only lose it [Pee-Wee Herman laugh]

Todd (VO): All of a sudden, Eminem had become everything his critics always said he was—witless, unfunny, obnoxious, and trying besides difficult to shock. And what was shocking about Eminem when he commencement came out is that he genuinely seemed equally aroused and vehement equally he came off. You could tell right from the beginning of "Merely Lose It," though, that Eminem wasn't trying anymore.

Eminem: What else could I possibly practice to make racket?
I done touched on everything but little boys

Todd: Oh, so shocking. No ane actually believes you're going to molest children, Em.

Todd (VO): Information technology was the starting time Eminem vocal that was really as bad as an Insane Clown Posse song. Eminem was supposed to be cruel, aroused, dangerous.

Todd: Non this!

Eminem: Give a fiddling "poot poot," it'south OK! [fart]
Oops my CD merely skipped
And everyone just heard y'all let one rip

Todd chuckles sarcastically

Eminem: Cease. Pajama fourth dimension

Todd (VO): MC Hammer? Michael Jackson? Beavis and Butt-Head references?

Eminem: Like TP for my bunghole

Todd: How sad is this? If he made a Lorena Bobbitt joke, it'd actually make the vocal more timely.

Todd (VO): More importantly, what happened to his flow? Simply a year before, this was the Eminem I knew.

Clip of "Lose Yourself"
Eminem: Snap back to reality, Oh at that place goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He'south so mad, merely he won't give upward that
Easy, no -

Todd: And at present we've got...

Eminem: Chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubbie
I don't have any lines to get right here so, chubba teletubbie!

Todd: That wasn't a rap, that was a argument of antipathy for you, the listener. Em, that was pathetic. What practice you have to say for yourself?

Eminem: Alright, now lose information technology. [Pee-Wee Herman laugh]

Todd: I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

Eminem: [Pee-Wee Herman laugh]

Todd: [imitating laugh] What are you saying?

Eminem: [Pee-Wee Herman express joy]

Todd: Just checking.

Eminem: Fellas (WHAT?!) Fellas (WHAT?!)
Grab you left nut, make your correct one jealous (What?)

Todd: Later the unmitigated disaster that was the unabridged Encore album, Eminem wisely decided to sit down out the rest of the decade. Later a bomb attempt at a comeback, Eminem finally regained some kind of form in 2010. He'south withal non as skillful every bit he was in his prime number, but at least he's not this.

Eminem: UmMmMmm touch my body

Todd (VO): Then again, the fact that this exists at all was probably evidence of intentional career demolition.

Todd: I don't miss 2004 and I'm betting Eminem doesn't either.

Endmost Tag Song: Mario Winans, Enya and P. Diddy - "I Don't Wanna Know" [33]

THE END

This listing is why I didn't go to many parties that year

This video is owned by me

Footnotes [ ]

  1. ↑ #37 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  2. ↑ #1 on Billboard Yr-Cease Hot 100
  3. ↑ #11 on Billboard Year-Terminate Hot 100
  4. ↑ #45 on Billboard Twelvemonth-End Hot 100
  5. ↑ #4 on Billboard Year-Terminate Hot 100
  6. ↑ #56 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  7. ↑ #16 on Billboard Year-Finish Hot 100
  8. ↑ #71 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  9. ↑ #33 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  10. ↑ #29 on Billboard Yr-Stop Hot 100
  11. ↑ #91 on Billboard Twelvemonth-Cease Hot 100
  12. ↑ #xix on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  13. ↑ #48 on Billboard Twelvemonth-End Hot 100
  14. ↑ #39 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  15. ↑ #76 on Billboard Year-Stop Hot 100
  16. ↑ #92 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  17. ↑ #96 on Billboard Twelvemonth-End Hot 100
  18. ↑ #78 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  19. ↑ #53 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  20. ↑ #50 on Billboard Year-Stop Hot 100
  21. ↑ #17 on Billboard Twelvemonth-Stop Hot 100
  22. ↑ #69 on Billboard Year-Finish Hot 100
  23. ↑ #10 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  24. ↑ #xviii on Billboard Twelvemonth-End Hot 100
  25. ↑ #6 on Billboard Twelvemonth-End Hot 100
  26. ↑ #25 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  27. ↑ #84 on Billboard Twelvemonth-Finish Hot 100
  28. ↑ #41 on Billboard Year-Cease Hot 100
  29. ↑ #68 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  30. ↑ #62 on Billboard Year-Cease Hot 100
  31. ↑ #63 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  32. ↑ #98 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  33. ↑ #7 on Billboard Yr-Finish Hot 100

smithangroys1964.blogspot.com

Source: https://thatguywiththeglasses.fandom.com/wiki/The_Top_Ten_Worst_Hit_Songs_of_2004

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